Hey friend,

So I've been in this weird headspace lately. You know that feeling when you start thinking maybe—just maybe—you're gonna end up alone? Like, forever-alone alone? Not just a dry spell, but the whole "nobody's ever gonna love me long-term" thing.

It's not even self-pity at this point. It just feels like...facts. Hard, cold facts about my life that I gotta deal with somehow.

Maybe you've been there too? Looking in the mirror thinking, "Ugh, who would want this?" or "I'm not interesting/hot/successful enough for anyone to stick around." And then some well-meaning person hits you with the "Just be patient!" or "It happens when you stop looking!" and you're like... yeah, no. That might work for SOME people, but my situation feels different.

I've been chatting with friends who've gone through similar stuff, and honestly? It's helped. So I thought I'd share some real talk that actually made sense to me.

That "Forever Alone" Feeling? It's Just a Thought, Not Your Future

Here's something that blew my mind: That gut feeling that you'll always be alone? It's actually just a belief. Not a prophecy, not a fact—just a thought your brain keeps recycling.

Our minds are weird like that. Tell yourself something enough times and boom—your brain's like "yep, that checks out." Then you start seeing "evidence" everywhere. Someone doesn't text back? See, nobody likes you! Got rejected? Proof you're unlovable! Your brain's basically wearing doom-colored glasses.

The first tiny (but huge) shift is just catching yourself when that thought shows up. Like, "Oh, there's that 'forever alone' thought again." Don't have to fight it. Just notice it.

Get Tight with Yourself First

Not gonna lie, I rolled my eyes when people first told me this. But turns out, it's kinda true—if you don't vibe with yourself, it's pretty tough for others to vibe with you.

I'm not talking about that "you have to love yourself before anyone can love you" BS. Just basic stuff:

- Can you hang out with yourself without constantly checking your phone?

- Do you talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend, or are you constantly being a jerk to yourself?

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Some things that helped me:

Meditation

I was super skeptical, but damn. Just 10 minutes helps me see that my thoughts are just...thoughts? Not the ultimate truth about me or my future. When that voice says "You're gonna die alone," meditation helps me be like "lol thanks for that input, brain."

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Actual self-care

Not just face masks (though those are nice too). I mean eating decent food, moving my body in ways that don't feel like punishment, and doing stuff I genuinely enjoy instead of what I think makes me look cool.

Leveling up

Learning new things, getting better at stuff I care about. Not to impress anyone else, but because it feels good to grow.

Breaking News: Relationships Aren't Everything 

Hot take: You can be lonely AF even in a relationship. And being single doesn't automatically mean you're miserable.

My most content friend told me something that stuck: "If you're waiting for a relationship to make your life worth living, you're gonna be waiting a long time."

Connection comes in all sorts of flavors:

Friends & community

Instead of thinking "why doesn't anyone want to be my friend?" try being interested in other people. Ask questions. Remember stuff they tell you. Show up. Join things where you might meet your kind of weirdos.

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Finding your thing

Helping others, volunteering, getting obsessed with something that matters to you. When you're lit up about something, people notice that energy.

Keep Showing Up (Even When It Feels Pointless)

This is the part that sucks. You go to events. You try to make friends. You put yourself out there. And sometimes... nothing. Crickets. Tumbleweeds.

The people who eventually find their people? They're the ones who kept showing up anyway. They felt awkward and rejected too, but they just... kept going.

When It's More Than Just Feeling Lonely

Real talk—if these feelings are dragging you down to the point where you can barely function, or if you're dealing with serious depression or constant self-hate, please talk to someone professional. I fought it for years, but therapy helped me see patterns I couldn't spot on my own. It's not magic, but it helps.

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One Last Thing

Look around. All kinds of people find connection. Quiet people. Loud people. Conventionally attractive people. Quirky-looking people. Smart people. People who think they're not smart enough.

Your worth isn't about checking off some list of qualities. You're worthy of connection just by existing.

Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. Focus on becoming YOUR best version, not someone else's. Practice enjoying your own company. Be kinder to yourself than your brain wants to be.

Some days will still be hard. I still have moments where I'm convinced I'll be alone forever. But focusing on what I can control TODAY—how I treat myself, staying present, finding little moments of joy—that makes all the difference.

Hang in there. For real.

-Me

P.S. Drop a comment if any of this resonated (or if you think I'm full of it). What's worked for you when you're in the "forever alone" spiral?